goodbye, florence.

A summary of my three days in Alicante, Spain requires really only one photo:

I literally did nothing but lay on the beach, eat, sleep, and the occasional crossword puzzle. Now that's my kind of vacation! I walked away with minimal sunburn (it's hard to get your whole back, doing it by yourself), feeling very relaxed and ready to face the difficult week ahead of me.

On the other hand, my time in Florence can barely be summed up in the thousands of pictures I have taken since January. How is it possibly May 25 right now? When I booked this flight seven months ago, all the way back in November, I really thought this day would never come.

In this entry, I will attempt both poignancy and humor...but it could get a little mushy. Bear with me.

I have moved before, and we all know that it is quite a sad experience to pick up and leave everything you know behind. I would never claim that I "know"' Florence. It is a city full of so many surprises, both modern and historic, that it would take years of exploration to truly conquer it. In these past four months, though, I have come to know my cozy corner of the city, and leaving it, as well as my experiences here, behind is proving to be more emotional than I had expected.

As much as I have enjoyed my time abroad, I have on occasion found myself wishing I could go home. Wishing that I lived in a place where asking for directions wasn't such a trial. Wishing that I could just get a freakin' iced coffee, not a caffe americano. Wishing for my own room. Wishing for my car back. Wishing I was with my friends back home as they celebrated Gator gymnastics victories and 21st birthdays.

As big as all of those details seemed at the time, it has taken all of four months for me to realize that what I've learned here far outweighs the cultural discomfort, homesickness, irritation, and frustration that I experienced here.


The experiences I have had in Florence (and elsewhere!) can never be replicated. That was why I decided to study abroad in the first place! When else would I ever get the opportunity to pick up my life for four months and live in a foreign country, with relative financial security? Answer: Never.

Leaving this part of my life behind is only slightly more difficult than leaving the people I've met along the way (mostly because I know it's an inevitability that I will see them again). Not to get all emotional and affectionate, but living together in a foreign country will bond you, no matter how different you may be. And let me tell you, differences abounded in our little dysfunctional Palace family.

But these girls have seen me laugh and cry, they've dealt with me drunk and hungover, consoled me, self-conscious and emotional, and more. Together, we have traveled all over Italy, exploring its culinary gifts, ancient ruins, and cultural history. Together, we took Barcelona by storm, one of the greatest experiences of my life. I cried as each of them got into cabs and drove to the airport, leaving me here, alone at last.

This experience has taught me more about myself that I thought. Even though this was one argument I used to convince my slightly reticent father to let me study abroad, I never imagined the kind of soul-searching I would have to do while living in one of the most beautiful countries on Earth. Stressful? Living in Italy at 20? Really?

The truth is that a lot of issues came to the fore while I was here. I had to confront my problems with food, self-esteem, and self-worth, as well as my feelings about alcohol, dating, and my friendships back home.

Being here introduced me to a lot of new interests, and rekindled some of my old ones (writing, for example). I learned the basics of a new language, and though far from fluent, my parents can attest that I am competent enough to navigate the complexities of Italian travel (and restaurants).

I didn't know what to expect, coming here. I kind of walked into this semester thinking that it was going to be all fun and games, all partying and playing. Honestly, most of it was. I can count on one hand the number of times I have been truly upset in the past four months.

Walking away from my life in America and into Italy gave me new appreciation for the things that I have back home, while also allowing me to emotionally separate myself from problems I have been dealing with. Coming home, I feel more emotionally complete, more mentally prepared to handle problems that come my way. And I will credit that to living with four complete strangers, and the necessity of developing patience when living in a country where there are essentially no traffic laws and no one knows what a clothes dryer looks like. [Exaggeration.]

Tonight, I will board a plane bound for London. From there, I will fly back to Tampa, where I will be reunited with my family and friends.

While part of me is not ready to come home, and probably never will be, while it is incredibly sad to turn the page on this chapter of my life, I know that what I've learned here and experienced here will be with me for the rest of my life.

And not just because I'm a compulsive photographer, or because I blogged about all of it along the way.

But because when you get to know another foreign country as I have come to know and appreciate (though not necessarily understand) Italy, it is a lesson that is impossible to forget.

So thank you to my parents, who supported me (both in financing and encouraging this whole shenanigan) throughout these four months...and through the planning stages, dating all the way back to April of 2009. Thank you to my friends for not forgetting about me while I was gone. Thank you to my Florence roommates who got more than they signed up for when I was assigned to be their roommate. Thank you to Sergio and Mario for being the only Italian men I could trust.

And thanks to all of you for reading. It's been real.

what did you expect?

The stairs to my apartment. They're absolutely KILLER...I'm going to have some amazing legs when I get back, between all of the walking and climbing these babies multiple times per day.

Me and Marissa's bathroom and bedroom doors. We are the only apartment in our building with two bathrooms in a two bedroom apartment. Score.

Tiny TV and couches.


Marissa's and my bedroom. It's REALLY small, but honestly, the only time I spend in there is spent sleeping.

And, my bed. Thank god for that blanket...it's down (or "made from ducks", as my landlord told us) and weighs about ten pounds. Keeps me so warm at night when the heat is off.

Expectations. It was one of the greatest obstacles to my whole study abroad experience. It affected the city I chose, the final decision in picking the API program, and everything I've heard from them since. I got a lot of feedback and information from API regarding what to expect in our apartments, social situations, and life in Italy in general, but the truth is that it's impossible to prepare for living abroad until you actually get here.

As much as I want this blog to be all sunshine and rainbows and Italy-is-amazing, I would be remissa if I failed to document all of the experiences I have while I'm here - and what I'm experiencing today is homesickness. I do not want anyone to worry, I'm told that the adjustment can be difficult, but that everyone gets over it, and the sooner I get this whole culture shock thing over with, the better. Mostly I'm struggling with my friends group here. My roommates are really nice, but they're very different from me. I'm terrified that my experience here is being diminished in some way because I have always sucked at meeting people. I do know one incredibly nice group of girls who have tried to include me thus far, but they live halfway across the city, and are all roommates, so I do feel like a bit of an outsider. I'm missing having people around that want to do the same things that I do, and quite honestly, I expected it to be way easier.

I just feel this intense need here for everything to go perfectly, wonderfully, smoothly. I'm very afraid that the experience will not live up to the expectations in my head...but at the same time, I know that I have been here less than a week, and that I need to just calm down and let things ride for now.

Last night was also not the most pleasant experience I've had since I came to Florence. One of my roommates and I went on a pub crawl with Euroadventures, and I definitely drank too much. I enjoyed myself at the beginning, just sitting and chatting with Sam (roommate) and two of the girls she knows here, but after the first pub, it was not fun. I ended up lost and alone, without my roommate, and had to find my way home completely inebriated. It is not an experience I want to repeat, and I'm serious when I say that I'm done drinking here. I am all for going out and having a glass of wine at a pub or a drink with an appetizer, but I have to accept the fact that getting drunk and going to clubs is just not my thing, and it does not make me strange (though it seems to among the people in the API program). I feel like I'm having to try too hard to fit in with the people here, I just expected to meet some people who have similar ideas to mine about what constitutes "fun" ... my expectations are having to adjust right along with everything else.

Anyway, enough whining for now. Like I said, do not get worried, I'm sure that will change things ounces classes start, and now that I finally got a phone like everyone else, I feel way less disconnected from everyone here.

The photos at the top of the page are from my beautiful apartment! My only problems with it so far are the lack of hot water and the cold in general. API was not kidding when they mailed us information about short showers and the Italians' Tendency to use heat sparingly. I'm getting used to constantly wearing socks, pajama pants, and a sweatshirt when I'm home.

Hopefully my next post will be a bit more happy ... I'm sorry if any of you bummed out, but like I said, I intend to record all of the ups and downs of the experience, and it just so happens that today is a down day.

oh, the difficulties of european living.

Okay, so I am FINALLY in Florence! We spent the last two nights at this amazing (though slightly echo-y) hotel in the center of Florence doing all kinds of fun (read: repetitive) orientation activities. I have met some cool people so far, but everyone got separated now that we have left the hotel and moved into our apartments which are located around the city.

My apartment is enormous, possibly bigger than my apartment back in America. I do have to share a room, and the bedroom itself is a lot smaller than mine at home, but considering the kind of descriptions they gave us pre-departure, I was expecting something akin to a hovel you would find in a rogue third world nation. I am quite pleased with it.

I am starting to be able to find my way around the city, too. It is incredibly, incredibly beautiful here. Florence is a small city by comparison to places like Rome and NYC, but it is full of historical buildings, sculptures, and it is surrounded by the most gorgeous landscape. I have taken a few pictures, but I am updating from a computer in the Lorenzo de Medici computer lab right now, so I cant upload them (I also cant find the apostrophe on this foreign keyboard, so you will have to excuse me).

Yesterday morning we took a walking tour around the city for about two hours. I was confident in how I had dressed at the start of the tour, but by the end I realized that gloves and a hat were essentials that I had overlooked. It was just a quick tour though, and I am looking forward to getting to know the smaller, more genuinely Italian aspects of the city. I already spotted a little cafe near my apartment where I can get coffee on my way to school, yum. After the tour, I was absolutely EXHAUSTED, since I hadnt slept well the night before, despite ridiculous jet lag, so I napped for a couple of hours until another orientation event.

After orientation, I met up with a girl I met on my flight over and her roommates for aperitivo. This is definitely a concept we need to instigate in America. You go to what is essentially a bar and order a drink and you get an all you can eat light dinner buffet for a flat rate of £8. I ordered an apple martini which was really pretty, but also pretty strong. I drank maybe half of it, but took full advantage of the buffet. The food here is so fresh and everything tastes different, but in a good way.

Anyway, tonight we have our first "cultural activity" with the program, a cooking class. The tomorrow morning we are going on a survival tour of our neighborhood to find out where the markets and drugstores and other essential places are in our vicinity.

I am extremely tired, but loving Italy so far. Everything is too beautiful to believe, and I am still in denial that I am going to be here for the next four months. I should have access to the internet via laptop in the next couple of days, so I will put up some pictures to spice this blog up a bit.

Ciao!